Teenage And Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS)

 I was diagnosed with GBS at a young age. I was just 6 years when it hit me for the first time. It was mild and I recovered very fast. I did various kinds of exercises, I remember working hard for regaining my strength and recovered well. But some of my body parts were weak, I was not able to run like others. I was limited to indoor games and my fingers used to shake a lot. If someday I worked hard physically like walking for a long time, joined hiking, or played some outdoor games then I used to get exhausted very fast and tiredness used to be in peak. I thought these consequences might be normal after GBS and it is. As per doctor's prediction I was assure that I won't have any relapse of it in future. 

But when I turned 16 I had a relapse of GBS which was terrible. Weakness was so progressive that within 24 hours of onset I got fully paralyzed and went into a ventilator.

For me both of the times, I was young, innocent, soft, and immature, dreaming a successful future, career, and life. But when it suddenly hit me and all my expectations of life turned vague. I was surprised, shocked, and obviously petrified of seeing my own condition. Minute by minute, second by second my deteriorating health was hard to accept in reality. Sometimes sudden happenings which we never imagined of being is just enough to break, deform and shock us deep in mentally. And the same was my situation. I was hardly living in reality. I had a lot of panic attacks during my fight, especially during ICU stay. 

After some time I started to accept my condition and fought within myself. But it was not a fight of one-day or a week or a month. It's a fight of years and years.Pains, discomfort, and erotic dimension of life where we are dead but also alive. Isn't it complicated?  Yes, it is. I know how we suffer both mentally and physically. 

GBS paralyzes us physically, troubles us mentally but the complications that come one after another due to it is hazardous. Life in life support, Tracestromy ,Terrible burning and pains in nerve, Pneumonia, Chest pain,  Deep vein thrombolysis (DVT), Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), Sepsis, fluctuating Heartbeats, Hypertension becomes common day by day. I had it all. But I fought with everything that came by with a big smile and survived my life. I came out of the vent after 2months and started to breathe and eat again.And now I'm able to walk again. I'm recovering slowly but certain and confident that I'll be fully recovered one day. 

One thing that is for sure and I have experienced is that those who have seen the darkest and painful days of their life will actually experience real happiness and peace. After all our struggles,complications and victories,the life we live is glorious and self-made.

For teenagers like us, where life is just started. A phase to learn what is life, what is a success, explore the world, and uncountable desires and dreams to accomplish. But this physical disability just takes us middle of nowhere. Seeing our condition, it's obvious to get frustrated. Our expectations regarding life and dreams turns vague at certain point and during recovery period, it becomes hard to face world, hesitation among friends, thoughts about what people might say or the way they look at us creates an odd situation.But what I say is we should ignore these things and shouldn't be ashamed of anything. We have survived those days of our life which is beyond anyone's imagination and some pessimistic opinions or saying or reaction shouldn't affect us. We are warriors, survivors so don't make yourself feel low while facing world. We will be back to normal one day and live our dreams for sure.This will stay in our life for only certain time. We will get through this and celebrate our victory with pride and upto then we will be developed with a potential to inspire other....

So, we didn't choose GBS but GBS chose us. We are rare and unique with full of strength within us. We are warriors and nothing is impossible for us. Let's accept, believe in positivity,turn our weakness into strength, pain into smiles, and face the world with confidence and fight gracefully.

I must say when we come to make things done then we are full of spirit. Let's fight against GBS with Will, Determination, Faith And Smile.

We can do it. 

Nevergiveup guys.- Saishna Budhathoki